~Butterflies have fleeting lives...and so do relationships.
~But the residual lies stain hearts forever.~
No Homo
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A few years back, when I was a somewhat ardent church goer. I eventually met a ladyfriend that I was really feeling.
I mean, I did the commendable thing right? Go to church and find a woman lol.We spent mad time together, and realized we enjoyed each other's company. It was at this time of preamble that she informed me of a guy she was seeing.
Disappointed as I was, I still settled for friendship. B/c like I said, I was really feelin O'girl. She was a fly-independent sistah. She struck me as a tender and caring person, as nice as people come. But my cause for concern came to be the relationship with her so-called boyfriend. It turned out that i knew who this fella was and he knew me well, albeit he did not know I was close to said woman. The problem was, this guy had a family that we all knew he'd been living with. He acutally lived with his fiance' and children. Mainwhile he's got my girl stringing along in his palms as his side dish, while She was deluded into thinking that she's the entree.
I feel bad now for not telling her what I knew. But back then I thought nothing could've changed the way she felt for this guy. That even if I had told her, she'd still not have showed great concern as he continued to invent new lies for her. Though i showed signs of admonishment, she was headstrong in her "love" for this man. I informed her that though we were not intimate on that level I still saw more of her than her so-called man ever did. She claimed it's b/c he's hard working. Right. Implying that i'm not hard working enough. I also went further and advised her that him always postponing planned events b/t them is just a sign of his playerism. She brushed that off too: "...dates are not that important as long as I have him." But do you really? That was where my morals were torn, I didn't know if I should tell her or not. No, I honestly didn't know what was the right thing to do.
I endured for a while offering some sort of support, which wolud eventually prove futile. To make a long story short, I ended up leaving that whole "triangle" of being the fall back guy that didn't really get the play, just the cries and complaints. I broke away, but looking back, the right thing would have been to tell her first. She did not deserve the deciet that he was putting her through. As her friend, the least I could do was bring light to the situation. He ended up leaving her after wasting years of her life on made up pretenses of a relationship. I doubt if she ever found out.
And as time progressed I've seen the same thing happening to people I have no dealings and I continued being tacturn. Up until more recently when a new friend in my life almost fell into that circus of lies and pressuring. I'm glad that she broke away from that coming cloud.
Why do women do it? You're going with a guy and all of a sudden the universe extends? You begin going against some of your steadfast beliefs and you start compromising your ideals as far as relationships go. You were once studious, diligent and didn't play that shit, but now you slowly start to play that shit, as your belief in pure romance fades, but it's worth it because you think he's great guy. Is he really a great guy? Let's spend some time and examine that. He suggests he's into open relationships (although, of course You are his main woman and he'll definitely settle down with you). Lol to open relationships, they suck you in and cloud your thinking, before you know it you're lost. But disclaim the last sentence if we are definitely not on the same moral plane. How great could he be if he has this abusive mentality? Oh my bad you don't consider the whole player lifestyle to be abusive, for you it's the opposite, he's smooth that's why he could even be a player. Maybe I should mathematically prove to you that he's abusive and not smooth, but nevermind that if you can't make the connection yourself, well I urge you to please try.
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